Lyrics
I'm looking at you
I'm really looking at you
And I don't know when I stopped
I've been here every night
Right here, every night
And I missed you anyway
Stay with me, stay with me
I know I haven't been here
Stay with me, stay with me
I want to love you for real
For real, for real
I want to love you for real
I'm reaching for your hand
And my hand is shaking
I've held your hand a thousand times
Without thinking
Now I'm trying to mean it
Stay with me, stay with me
I know I haven't been here
Stay with me, stay with me
I want to love you for real
For real, for real
I want to love you for real
I thought about it
More than once
What it'd feel like
Starting over
But it'd still be me
Still pretending
Still bad faith
Stay with me, stay with me
I know I haven't been real
Stay with me, stay with me
I want to love you for real
For real, for real
I'm not leaving
I want to love you for real
Stay with me, stay with me
I want to love you for real
For real, for real
I want to love you for real
For real, for real
I want to love you for real
The Story
I didn’t know bad faith was a thing until I read about it. The Black Book of Power by Stan Taylor has a section on Sartre that calls it “lying to oneself.” I was in the middle of learning to accept and love myself when the book gave it a name.
That’s the only reason I could see it. You can’t recognize bad faith in your own life until you truly love yourself.
Bad faith comes easily in a young relationship, and the same law holds in all of them. You think the grass is greener somewhere else. It only looks that way from a distance. Everything I wanted was already in me.
Once I loved myself, I could start loving people for real, my spouse included, the way I should have all along.
I hope the song gives someone what they need to see bad faith in their own life.
Credits
- Written, produced
- T.J. Kelley
- Voices
- Trevor Gram · Leah Wilde
- Label
- Thin Veil Records